Canada in crisis: Stemming the flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada

This was sent to me by my friend, Len.  Fictional, but not by much, esp. if McCain wins…

> The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
> has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
> to stop the illegal immigration.
>
> The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
> among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt,
> pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.
>
> Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of
> sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
> their fields at night.

>"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood> producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
> whose acreage borders North Dakota.
>
> The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could
> spare a latte and some free-range chicken.  When I said I didn’t have
> any, he left.  Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
>
> In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
> fences, but the liberals scaled them.  So he tried installing speakers
> that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.  "Not real effective," he
> said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much
> they wouldn’t give milk."
>
> Canadian officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
> liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,
> drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
> "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
> Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
> drinking water.  ‘They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
> though."
>
> When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often
> wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.  Rumors
> have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
> re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from
> airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the
> Rapture.
>
> In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
> crossing the border.  Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
> bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.  After catching a
> half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
> authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
> senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
> prove they were alive in the ’50s.  "If they can’t identify the accordion
> player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an
> official said.
>
> Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
> creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
> Sarandon movies.  "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
> economy just can’t support them," an Ottawa resident said, "How many
> Art-history and English majors does one country need?"

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